…or longer, for a dream to come true.
And when it does come true, unpacking those feelings and sensations can be a confusing blend of conflicting emotions — insecurity, surprise, grief (that it took so long), excitement, overwhelming love, forgiveness (that it took so long), and peace amidst the myriad butterflies.
It feels a bit like Christmas Eve right now — the kind where you know that the awkwardly-wrapped gift leaning on the wall behind the Christmas tree is obviously the bicycle you longed and prayed for. The longer you’ve waited for it, the more you appreciate that it’s finally <almost> here. But you still don’t know the feel of it beneath your body and your heart races at the prospect of tearing into the paper & taking it out for a first glorious ride.
Except, there are TWO dreams culminating within one “gift:” a bicycle built for two, so-to-speak.
I’m a musician. I have dreamed of sharing the music I create with the world ever since I can remember. But with the passage of time I became resolved to the idea that the dream might never come true.
I had another dream since childhood and it was to have children. Not just any children. I wanted to adopt two children and then give birth to two children. I know, right? I’m a believer in being very, very specific in what I want. And that’s what I wanted. It took seven and a half years of infertility for my then-husband to agree to adopting. Before that, he was unwilling to adopt. Therefore, God in his infinite wisdom saw to it that, in order for my dream to be realized, I go through what others might describe as a “trial.” So. I infertiled for seven years. He “trialed” and prayed and longed to be a dad. I waited patiently. He changed his mind and became open to adoption. We adopted.
Our first adoption was a 4-year-old boy who started out with us as a foster child and within a year he had become our sweet, funny, entertainer son. Our second adoption was a 3-day-old baby girl, Bree, who is now 21 years old and one of my dearest friends. Then I was blessed in the following four years with two pregnancies and two more beautiful, gifted, and amazing daughters.
I adored them and homeschooled them and taught them all to sing.
And tomorrow I realize my other dream — the 21-year dream of having the music I’ve written be presented to the world for ALL to be blessed by, and not just my immediate friends and family. And that music is being sung by my children…what could be better?
I wrote my first baby song twenty-one years ago when my Bree-bee was only a few weeks old. We’ve been singing our Night-Night Time song ever since that day — if you know us, you’ve likely heard us sing it to you more than once. If you haven’t heard it yet, you will soon because this dream is coming true like beautiful rains showering down upon a field of fragrant flower buds ready to bloom! (maybe not THE perfect metaphor, but it’ll do and it smells real pretty and makes me smile) Bree is singing “her” song on our album — I wrote it for her 21 years ago, sang it to her for two decades, and now she is singing it for everyone. To say that I’m excited feels odd because what I actually feel is such a combination of emotions that I’m just breathing through until tomorrow when our title song for our album, “Bridge,” is released for download.
My heart is overwhelmed right now. I’m exhausted from the production process and the steepest learning curve I’ve ever experienced in my life. I’m thrilled that our unique music is finally being shared with the world like fresh rain. I’m proud of my daughters and my team for all the work we’ve put in the sacrifices we’ve all made to make this happen…Dan Gill, April Burney & her sweet daughters, and numerous others who took this leap of faith with us. It’s beautiful, scary, and amazing all at once.
Sometimes dreams take a long time. And we appreciate them more for the waiting.
https://breenae.bandcamp.com/releases
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