National Women’s Day — are you a VIEWer or a DOer?

How do you celebrate holidays like National Women’s Day? You could change the world if you get this right!

Celebrating a holiday as a once-a-year thing is kinda like eating an orange and expecting to have your Vitamin C needs met for the year.

Some people go to Easter Sunday services and never darken the church doors again. You KNOW who you are! LOL
That one day, that one suit, that one sermon…you’re good to go for the entire year until the bunnies start to lay eggs again. Or are you?

Yesterday was National Woman’s Day. WOMANHOOD. A very worthy thing to celebrate, we all agree. So to designate a day to bring attention to it is commendable.

However, there are 364 other days in the year and I want to encourage you to use them to celebrate your “it” days all year ‘round.

Why do we become people who observe others in distress, yet feel uncomfortable offering to help? The other day a story went viral about a young mom at an airport whose toddler was hysterical. Six women came from different gates and sat down around her to lend support, not emotional and practical. It was so unusual that the story has become viral worldwide and (I hope) awakened a true “village movement” and mentality that we have largely lost as a norm in current society.

While in Florida over the weekend, a man helped me with a canoe I couldn’t lift. It’s a little bit sad that he waited and finally said, “I’m waiting for you to ask me to do that for you!” because our culture has become suspicious and preditorial and he was being cautious about approaching me with his offer.

But when we see women struggling in public with children who are out of their element and having a meltdown due to baby stress, it’s not a Netflix season, my friends. It’s a LIFE. And WE are that momma’s village. If we offer to help her and she says “No” then we have our answer. If we DON’T offer, we’re just observers and can expect that the world will treat us the same…like a tv special worth viewing, but not worth DOing anything about.

How can you buck the “system” for the next 364 days and DO something about the needs you see around you? If you see someone needing help, YOU are that person’s village!

If I see you in need I promise to say, “How may I help you?” Starting right now:

How may I help you??
~eJoy🔆

You Are Not Santa

Dear Moms (and sometimes Dads):

Every year about this time you likely go into a panic with lists and budgets and recipes and and and…

I’ve got some great news for you.

You are not Santa!

Maybe no one has told you this before, so here I go:

YOU SHOULD HAVE A CHRISTMAS, TOO…not just be the one that provides Christmas for everyone else!

But do you?  Do you have a Christmas?

Or do you sit and watch everyone else having a Christmas in your five-minute breaks between chores of being Perpetual Santa creating Christmas for everyone else?

I can guess the answer. I know the answer.

Because I was Perpetual Santa for many many years.  And now, even as a single-mom-not-able-to-afford-being-Santa-anymore, I still feel the guilt of not having all of the lists and recipes and chores that I used to have to make Christmas, well, Christmas … for everyone else.

Do you know that that kind of stress can make you  physically ill?

Some of you do know. Some of you don’t know. (And ONE of you actually thrives on this kind of stress because it’s actually good for you. I’m happy for you. You can stop reading now because the rest of this blog is for those of us who think we’re thriving, but aren’t)

And some of you don’t know yet that it’s hurting you because — down the road — you will begin to see the wear and tear this has had on your mind and body. It WILL catch up.

When do you get a holiday?

Moms (and sometimes dads, but not as often), you need more than a holiday. You need holidays. Moments and minutes and hours and days where nothing is expected of you (by others OR by yourself) where you get to just breathe, regroup, and restore. Small daily doses of rest, just like kids get. It’s not wrong to make sure that you take care of YOU first. It actually makes you a BETTER parent or friend when you choose to do this.

Do you feel like your mind never, ever stops? Especially this time of year from, oh, October through New Years, are you realizing that you never give your brain and body a conscious break from day-to-day, week-to-week, year-to-year stress??

Here is my little gift to you:

*ASK for what you need. Let your people know exactly what blesses and heals you.

*Take time for JUST YOU five minutes a day, and consciously breathe. Do nothing but breathe. A doctor I know said that if everyone took 20 deep breathes in complete silence just once a day, it has potential to change the world.

*Sit with a favorite beverage 20 minutes before anyone else awakens and just quiet your mind. Read something soothing to your soul. Play music that lifts your spirits…I know of an album called We Found Home (written by yours truly and my daughters) that would bring you the precious gift of peace. 🙂 (link below)

*Buy yourself a small, favorite treat next time you’re shopping for everyone else. Hide it and enjoy it in those (above) quiet moments. I choose Endangered Species Dark Chocolate “Almond and Sea Salt” flavor — there are essential nutrients in that stuff! WIN!!

*Fill a tub with hot water and 2 cups of epsom salts (or a fancy bath bomb, if you like), light a candle, turn on your favorite music or that podcast you’ve been wanting to listen to, close and lock the bathroom door (at my house the door doesn’t latch, so both steps are necessary to alert the offspring that this is MOM-time), lay back and do NOTHING but soak for 20-30 minutes. Do this at least twice a week. Epsom salts soothe muscles and are reputed to draw out heavy metals from your body. Add some Lavender essential oil and you’ll sleep like a baby elf!

This Christmas (and always) please take care of you first.

It’s your gift to yourself…which is ALWAYS a gift to your entire family and to your world, as it happens.

And thank you. Thank you for being such an amazing giver. It’s time for you to receive.

So much love,

Elisa

https://store.cdbaby.com/Artist/ElisaJoyTorres

 

 

 

To Heal A Heart

Do you know someone who is grieving today?

 

• Death of a loved one
• Divorce
• Empty nesting
• Unemployment
• Moving to a new community
• Debilitating injury or illness

 

“Will I Ever Feel JOY Again?”

All of these life situations can bring emotion and grief that makes the individual experiencing it feel hopeless that they will ever feel “normal” or joyful again. Often these feelings are demonstrated by depression or anxiety that may not even show in people’s facial expressions or words in everyday life.

 

I recall walking the halls of my church and feeling like a ghost while trying to recover from divorce of a 23-year marriage. No one knew what to say to me. And, clearly, no one knew what to do, either.

 

So I cried in private (mostly – sometimes the tears would just sneak out in the grocery line or while I was getting gas or during a chat with other moms…who were happily married) and smiled in public. I dressed up extra pretty for church so my girls would see that life goes on. Sometimes we’d all even dress up for the grocery store, just because we could! It felt good to be silly like that sometimes, even though the tears were never far from falling.

 

I’ll never forget the day a dear family friend told me the most helpful, hurtful, inconvenient truth I’ve ever known. She asked me what I was looking for from my church experience and I told her: “I want to feel surrounded by family again. I want my girls to see married men who STAY and I want to be around couples and families who are loving and accepting. I want to have people over to my home and them invite us to theirs. FRIENDS. Real friends, not just Bible Study friends or Small Group Fellowship acquaintances, but real friends who drop in unexpectedly & I can do the same with them.”

 

Then My Heart Broke. Again.

She informed me that that was not likely to happen. “Why?” She said it was because I was still attractive and newly-single and that made for some interesting considerations when wanting to hang out with married couples. I can’t tell you her exact words, but I’m grateful for her honesty. Because before that, I had just felt (for nearly three years after divorce) that there was something wrong with ME.

 

Have you ever heard a heart break? I did that day. It was mine.

 

Here’s the GoOD thing that happened from that: I now have an eagle’s eye for newly-divorced, lost-ish looking people who need someone to SEE them; hear them; be willing to hold space for them, have coffee with them, bear a bit of their pain for as many times as it takes until they regain their balance and start to see straight again.

 

I can literally feel it when someone walks by who is hurting in this way. And I’m grateful. It makes me grateful that I experienced complete and debilitating pain in this way because now I sense it in others and I’m dedicated to being present for them in any way I can. Empathy. It is literally life saving.

 

Feeling HEARD HEALS

Who do you know who may be hurting today? Did someone just pop into your mind as you read this – even though it may not make sense to you? Don’t ignore that thought. It is your G.U.T. (God Uttering Truth…that’s my very own acrostic. You’re welcome) and you may save someone’s heart from breaking just for the price of a cup of coffee. There are a couple of verses from the Bible that say “Get on out there and LISTEN to someone who is hurting!” Well, “Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ” is one. Another section of scripture ends with “…if you’ve done it to the least of these (good deeds, listening, visiting, feeding), you’ve done it unto ME (Jesus).” Another way you may have heard it said is that “we are the hands and feet of God” to others in this world. Hearing Heals. 

 

Healing Starts The Moment We Feel Heard

 

My pain was not for nothing. My pain was to make me FEEL something so deeply that I will never ignore the chance to help, hear, and heal another for as long as I live.

 

I would love knowing that you will join me in this quest to “Bear each other’s burdens” by holding space and being caring to those in pain. Just be present. And listen. Heal by hearing. Will you join me and start being on the lookout for opportunities to see and hear and heal?

 

If YOU need to talk, find me on Facebook @ Elisa Joy Torres and send me a Messenger message. I’ll be there for you!

 

So much love,

Elisa

Friends With Hope

It has been a very long time since I could say I was friends with Hope.

Hope has not exactly been safe for me. It isn’t as if I wanted to avoid her. She eluded my advances shortly after realizing that my marriage was ending 8 years ago. I reached for her with the one-liner “Maybe this is all for the best and better things are coming!” and her mocking laughter could be heard receding into the distance. She continued to elude me for the next couple of years until, out of desperation, I blocked her entirely. She was a tease, Hope was. She would whisper things to me that worked for others and then run away when I reached for her.

Or so I thought. And so it felt. And so it was.

The truth is, it was my own belief that I was not worthy of Hope. It was my belief that Hope had left me, but the reality is: I left Hope. And she is gentle and kind and unassuming and patient. Thank the Lord for that! “When hope is restricted from life, the heart becomes sick.” I had chosen to believe that she avoided me, and she — in her kindness — allowed me my space.

Space is over-rated, I tell ya.

I got over the need for it. It took several years, but I began to miss Hope more than I had the need to be right. (That’s huge, as I have a very large need to be right.)

I decided to be mistaken about Hope and decided to welcome her back into my life. I decided to be open to the idea that “ALL things…” were working out for my good. ALL. Not just the things that looked and felt like abundance, but everything else as well, even poverty and depression and tears and frustrations. I decided  stop striving after some perceived end result and instead to wait and see how God worked on my behalf.

I decided to say YES!! to my desires and then WAIT in anticipation of two things:

1. My desires becoming reality, or
2. My desires shifting and refining over time…sometimes being replaced altogether.

Guess what? Hope IS my friend. Hope never stopped being my friend. What I had thought was Hope was actually “Perceived Outcome.” You may know her as “Negative Expectation” or “My Way or the Highway!” Hope has some pretty firm boundaries and she doesn’t make friends with those folks. She was just biding her time until I figured that out and let go of a few toxic associations.

How did I do that, you ask? I’ll tell you:  I let go of toxic associations.

I chose to finally believe that I deserve to pursue what I desire — get this — even without the present resources to attain that desire! I chose to embrace the fact that if I have a pure desire in my heart, God has given it to me and I have a right and responsibility to say YES! to that desire and then wait in delighted anticipation as the means to attain it unfolds. OR wait and allow the desire to shift & change. It’s ALL good.

And it’s accompanied by my new-again best friend, Hope.

Hope is gentle, Hope is kind; Hope is supportive, Hope is not blind. Hope is Love.

I love Love. Don’t you?

I’m here to entreat you not to wait years to learn this lesson that Hope is ALWAYS your friend.

Allow her to whisper inspiring things to you and then allow her to STAY as you say YES! to her ideas. It’s all good.

It really is.

So much love,

eJoy…rising

Sometimes it takes 21 years…

…or longer, for a dream to come true.

And when it does come true, unpacking those feelings and sensations can be a confusing blend of conflicting emotions — insecurity, surprise, grief (that it took so long), excitement, overwhelming love, forgiveness (that it took so long), and peace amidst the myriad butterflies.

It feels a bit like Christmas Eve right now — the kind where you know that the awkwardly-wrapped gift leaning on the wall behind the Christmas tree is obviously the bicycle you longed and prayed for. The longer you’ve waited for it, the more you appreciate that it’s finally <almost> here. But you still don’t know the feel of it beneath your body and your heart races at the prospect of tearing into the paper & taking it out for a first glorious ride.

Except, there are TWO dreams culminating within one “gift:” a bicycle built for two, so-to-speak.

I’m a musician. I have dreamed of sharing the music I create with the world ever since I can remember. But with the passage of time I became resolved to the idea that the dream might never come true.

I had another dream since childhood and it was to have children. Not just any children. I wanted to adopt two children and then give birth to two children. I know, right? I’m a believer in being very, very specific in what I want. And that’s what I wanted.  It took seven and a half years of infertility for my then-husband to agree to adopting. Before that, he was unwilling to adopt. Therefore, God in his infinite wisdom saw to it that, in order for my dream to be realized, I go through what others might describe as a “trial.” So. I infertiled for seven years. He “trialed” and prayed and longed to be a dad. I waited patiently. He changed his mind and became open to adoption. We adopted.

Our first adoption was a 4-year-old boy who started out with us as a foster child and within a year he had become our sweet, funny, entertainer son. Our second adoption was a 3-day-old baby girl, Bree, who is now 21 years old and one of my dearest friends. Then I was blessed in the following four years with two pregnancies and two more beautiful, gifted, and amazing daughters.

I adored them and homeschooled them and taught them all to sing.

And tomorrow I realize my other dream — the 21-year dream of having the music I’ve written be presented to the world for ALL to be blessed by, and not just my immediate friends and family. And that music is being sung by my children…what could be better?

I wrote my first baby song twenty-one years ago when my Bree-bee was only a few weeks old. We’ve been singing our Night-Night Time song ever since that day — if you know us, you’ve likely heard us sing it to you more than once. If you haven’t heard it yet, you will soon because this dream is coming true like beautiful rains showering down upon a field of fragrant flower buds ready to bloom! (maybe not THE perfect metaphor, but it’ll do and it smells real pretty and makes me smile) Bree is singing “her” song on our album — I wrote it for her 21 years ago, sang it to her for two decades, and now she is singing it for everyone. To say that I’m excited feels odd because what I actually feel is such a combination of emotions that I’m just breathing through until tomorrow when our title song for our album, “Bridge,” is released for download.

My heart is overwhelmed right now. I’m exhausted from the production process and the steepest learning curve I’ve ever experienced in my life. I’m thrilled that our unique music is finally being shared with the world like fresh rain. I’m proud of my daughters and my team for all the work we’ve put in the sacrifices we’ve all made to make this happen…Dan Gill, April Burney & her sweet daughters, and numerous others who took this leap of faith with us. It’s beautiful, scary, and amazing all at once.

Sometimes dreams take a long time. And we appreciate them more for the waiting.

https://breenae.bandcamp.com/releases

 

He Who Is Without Sin…

I’ve just moved. And it was a move “back.” Back to an old childhood home. A home town.

 

I’m just going to tell you what my ensuing thoughts are after my first time (in over three years) visiting my family’s place of worship. Here goes…

 

The true test of your “good”ness does not come when your kids or partner or people are acting EASY…compliant…pleasant…sinless…all together.

 

YOUR test comes when others are messy…difficult…confrontational…unpleasant…sinful (in your opinion) as hell. And making choices un-dependent upon your fine opinion.

 

Who are you THEN? Do you cross your arms, draw lines in the sand, demand compliance/conformity “or else,” become retaliatory or passive-aggressive, judgmental, better than?

 

Do you bask in the “rightness” of your own life choices when you encounter others whose choices have been less than ideal; whose choices have brought them painful life lessons? Does it feel kinda sweet — just the teensiest bit sweet — when you know that your “ducks” line up obediently, while others’ just run in circles or hide altogether?

 

Do you stand looking down, head held high in judgement?

 

Or…

 

Do you extend a hand of mercy; of friendship? Do you kneel beside the wounded soul and say, “I’m here when you’re ready. I love you. You’re beautiful. I’m right here.”

 

I hope you kneel. I hope you reach out a hand of fellowship.

 

Because, trust me, whether you stare down your nose or get down on a knee? It shows.

 

Glaringly or glowingly, it shows.

 

When others fail, how do you show up? Check your thoughts — are they “Thank God I never did THAT!” or “How can I be present for this hurting person?”

 

I’m learning — through a plethora of really dumb choices (in retrospect, of course…hindsight being, you know, 20-20) — to have Grace and Mercy to others.

 

Especially to Judgmental others. I’m learning presence. Especially towards those who do not practice it themselves.

 

Judge not lest ye be judged. To the extent that you judge others, expect the same upon yourselves.

 

I’m learning through trial & error…lots and lots of error…to stop throwing stones.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keep Your eyes on your WHYs, not on your fears.

Keep your eyes on your “WHYs,” not on your fears.

Wherever you are headed, there will ALWAYS be someone headed in the opposite direction. Sometimes those someones collide with you and slow you down. Sometimes the collision will bring an abrupt halt to a journey. And sometimes those collisions abort a journey with the death of your dream as the result.

I once heard a speaker talk about faith, belief, and how our focus determines our direction. She illustrated her point by explaining how easy it is for night driving to become hazardous if the driver focuses on oncoming headlights in the opposite lanes instead of on the road right ahead them. She said, “If your focus is on the headlights of oncoming traffic, that is the direction you will tend toward as you are blinded by the glare, and collision will be the outcome. However, if you keep your focus on your OWN lane and ignore the other headlights, you will maintain your vision, avoid collision, and keep the momentum toward your destination.”

Where is your focus? I challenge you to keep your vision focused on your Why. Your Why is the reason you do what you do. And if you don’t have a set of WHYs for your goals in life that help determine your daily actions, then let’s get intentional about defining them. I’m working on that right now and it is helping me focus on life direction, not on my fears and not on my “no”s.

A Book of Wisdom says “Without direction, people wander aimlessly” and it is a basic truth: If we don’t know where we are going, we will surely get there. LOL

Let’s decide our destination, determine our WHYs, and focus only on the road ahead (our dream; our goal) instead of the fears & blinding doubts of oncoming “traffic.”

Keep your eyes on your WHYs, not on your fears!

That Very Small Place

Are you stuck?

Do you ever feel sick, angry, depressed, frustrated, rejected, anxious, in debt, fill-in-the-blank, TIRED of whatever it is that keeps raising its annoying head and stopping you in your tracks and making you feel like some nebulous “something” is just WRONG in your life???

If you feel stuck (or any of the above-listed things), I have a thought for you. AND for me:

You may be feeling that way because you are NOT WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE in some area of your life.

You’re keeping yourself in a space where you don’t belong. Maybe even a literal place.

You’ve gotten yourself wedged in a tight spot NOT MEANT FOR YOU and those spots hurt for a reason:

TO COMPEL YOU — through PAIN — to get you to MOVE from where you ARE to where you actually BELONG!!!

I don’t know the medical terminology for the phenomenon of funny bones (laughing & crying at the same time for the intensity of pain triggered when certain nerves are struck) or knee-jerk reactions, but those are protective measures Nature has in place that, ultimately protects us from experiencing worse pain…for instance, knee-jerk nerves kick in (literally) to keep us UPright when our body perceives that a fall is imminent. The jerk is our nervous systems emergency response to the sensation of falling and it violently yanks us in an opposite direction so as to defy gravity & force us to stand instead of fall.

Unfortunately, it often backfires and the energetic output makes us fall even harder.

Sometimes.

If you are in this stuck place — possibly even chronically, there is someone here for you that is going to completely and violently and gloriously CHANGE. YOUR. LIFE. !!!

Like the knee-jerk reaction our nervous system enacts when a certain nerve is triggered in our bodies, there is a resounding “snap!” of energy meant to catapult us into a state of “staying upright” when a crisis happens (be it an actual — like a car accident, or emotional — like anxiety, or spiritual — like depression, or physical — like chronic illness crisis) and our entire being reacts in some negative fashion that, instead, brings us toppling down some proverbial (or real) flight of stairs to land in a heap at the bottom saying, literally, “What the HELL??? AGAIN???!!!”

You are experiencing “pain” because your very BODY is reacting violently to SAVE YOU from STAYING where you DON’T FIT.

You may have fit there once, but now it’s time to move on; to get back into an upright position; to extricate yourself from the small tunnel you are IN and move into the expansive spaces of BEING where you actually BElong.

You do not belong “there.” That’s why it hurts to stay. Stuck.

The Universe conspires NOT “against” you…rather, it conspires FOR you to get out and get out NOW. To save your very life.

So what do we DO in our Stuckness? We feed. And get Stucker. And tell ourselves it’s “God’s Will” or “Our thorn in the flesh” or “Karma” or whatever…so that we can smile doggedly (and sometimes pridefully — been there, laid on that beach, got the t-shirt & tan lines to prove it) and bear up under our personal trial HOPING that, in the end, we will be purified somehow if we just stay there and…well…muddle on. Like Pooh. Eating honey. Stuck. And getting stucker.

We hire therapists. Or join “like-minded” groups. Or sign up for Bible studies. Or call friends & family who “support” us.

It feels good to be amongst people who care. Right???

But being around “people who care” may feel great for awhile, but if we don’t DO something to get ourselves out of the Very Small Place we are not meant for, we begin to get more and more anxious about even our “support” systems because our very CELLS cry out — I mean, literally at a cellular level our bodies REACT! — to “escape before it’s too late!!!”

There are signs and wonders and symptoms and various levels of emergency alerts.

Everyone’s emergency alert is slightly different and individual because these alerts are uniquely suited to get YOU and your unique I AM to take notice and, literally, MOVE. Move to a bigger space where you DO belong; where you can FUNCTION FREELY to not only live in a fully healed space, but to also be a catalyst to HEAL YOUR WORLD in a way that you — and only you — were perfectly equipped to do.

Friends and support are good. But don’t expect that to get you unstuck. You and ONLY you can make that choice.

When you get uncomfortable enough. When you’ve HAD enough. Or you die.

All the well-meaning professionals, advisors, lovers and friends can rally to our side to “help,” but in the end, salvation (or not) is our own choice.

And it is based upon one thing: realizing that we are in a space that is too small for us. Then doing whatever it takes (come hell or high water — and they WILL come…don’t burn or drown there when you are meant to be mobile and FREE!!!) to back up, track UP, and move into the amazingly spacious places meant for you.

 HOW DO WE DO THAT???

How do YOU do that???

How do you get UNstuck and into FREEDOM and PRODUCTIVITY???

You say “Yes.” I’m not kidding. It’s happening to me right this second and it’s miraculous, this little 3-letter word.

Some people like bullet points, direction, and Steps. So. Here ya go:

1.You stop trying to find your answer where you are. Just look at yourself honestly and realize you’re stuck.

2.You ponder where it is that you’ve always dreamed you COULD be; SHOULD be. Your “calling,” your “hopes and dreams,” that thing that makes you wince and cry every time you hear that quote that goes something like “the worst thing that can happen to you isn’t dying. The worst thing that can happen to you is dying with all of your songs (or visions, or talents, or dreams) still trapped inside of you.”

3.You let go of every excuse you’ve ever had about “Why I can’t do that” whether it be affordability, training, location, connections, confidence, education, associations (be they friend, family, foe, or both)…you name it. You’ve got excuses. I know. I’ve got THAT t-shirt, too. And it was hella expensive, let me tell you!

4.Then you look squarely in the eyes of your dreams and you say one word. One simple and amazingly innocuous-seeming word: YES. Just yes. Say it like this: “YES!!!!!!”

You’ve been waiting a long, long time to hear yourself say that. Your dreams have been waiting even longer to hear it.

And the whole freaking Universe is listening — poised and waiting — and catapulted into ACTION for the first time because you said it.

5. Now you REST. You’re done. DONE. No kidding.

Please hear me. This is life altering and your world will begin to change in that same moment you do this.

Even the way complete strangers look at you will change. Because saying Yes! to your calling brings your Destiny into alignment with where you ARE and everything changes.

And here’s the ultimate kicker:

YOU DON’T HAVE TO MAKE ANYTHING HAPPEN.

All you have to do is accept your assignment (the one that you’ve known for DECADES is “yours” but you’ve not been able to figure out how to make it happen).

YOU don’t make it happen. You just accept that it’s YOURS by saying Yes! to it.

The Universe is set into motion immediately because Creator has fashioned everything in creation to conspire together to help us expand and HEAL OUR WORLD.

I’m done for now. Something incredible is happening. And it’s not just to me.

I let go of “HOW???”, said my “Yes!!!”, then rested in knowing my “striving & worrying & longing & hoping” — that “work” was complete…and all heaven is breaking loose in my life.

This is that thing you read about in memes that says “your true work should have you getting up in the morning EXCITED to get back at it every day!” Not that it isn’t WORK…but the “work” that we are created for will energize us, not deplete us, IF it is within the sphere of our true calling.

Do the world a favor: Just say Yes! Today.

World Series, 30-day cleanses and soul searching

Today marks Day Numero Uno of a majorly-needed body cleanse.

Last night was Game One of The World Series starring the KC Royals vs. the SF Giants.

And now my mind wants in on the ‘cleanse’ action.

Sometimes I awake with tiny panic of something “undone” in my mind.  Last time it happened (a week ago) I ended up purchasing online three little cases of travel-sized hand sanitizer.  Ebola Outbreak: solved.   🙂  Today my wakeup trigger led me to stop and ponder a moment right here —>  last night while in the presence of some precious souls, I was able to absence myself from the clamor of three little girls longing to connect with me. I was able to do that simply because I wished to connect, instead, to a bunch of strange, incredibly wealthy men grappling with sticks and balls on a screen.  I was willing to sacrifice divine moments of looking into the eyes of very enthusiastic, intimate and loving, fully present souls — souls that invited connection on a golden platter — and I chose instead to stare at a screen full of people who cared not one whit about me, nor would they ever.   It seems to me that a thorough cleansing of my priorities is in order even more so than the 30-day cleansing of my bod I’m enacting!  Seems to me that if I choose to connect with complete strangers on a screen again (and I likely will), that I need to do that only when more worthy souls are not present and begging to bond.

That is all.  🙂  ~e

Breathe In Both Worlds (or Becoming Glorious)

Two years ago my daughter drew this picture.  She is a lover of all things “faery” and is also drawn to those things of mermaid and dragon lore…all illustrated stunningly (to her blatantly-biased mother) in this piece of work.   This drawing captivates me every time I see it…which is often because I am drawn to her drawings; inexorably.  The story this picture tells leads me to tell stories of my own.  Stories of potential  energy encapsulated and waiting for some catalyst to release it into kinetic forces that cannot be contained any longer.  Potential.  We all have it.  I believe that each of us is encapsulated by an energy force that contains our embryonic selves until we are ready for release into this vast ocean we call Universe.  Released into our “calling” or “purpose,” if you will.  How many of us stay encapsulated in “potential” and never allow our invisible force field to be touched and broken to release the kinetic force of US into our designated place and time and corner of the universe?

Everything embryonic has a specific time to develop encapsulated — a time to wait, to rest; to hope, to heal.  Staying in that state once fully developed has no benefit and leads to eventual death.  Think:  butterflies, birds, and babies of any sort (even botanical).   Once there is fertilization of a thought, an idea, or a creature of earth or breath, energy begins to split into infinity the potential of that process and Life is born into existence.  What becomes of that life is based solely upon Choice.

For myself, my children,  and for you:  I hope we choose to allow our potential to become kinetic at the right moment to impact our world for good.  I hope our embryonic inner selves is developed and ready to begin to draw in pure air and begin to breathe the moment catalyst touches our protective fields and releases us to run or swim or fly free…maybe all of the above.  And I hope for all of us that we will find ourselves

Becoming glorious as we learn to

Breathe in both worlds.

Breathe In Both Worlds (or Becoming Glorious)

I am a being of diverse parts.

Once fractured; healing;

Choosing now,

Parts that remain…

and parts that depart forever.

Birthed into deep paradigmic waters.

Forced to swim in violent currents;

Currents both mine, and not mine.

Foreign tides swell and lift me to the air I breathe

Then undertow engulfs and consumes

Until I wonder:

Am I truly a creature of this swelling, massive place…

Or a land dweller lost at sea?

Clarity is hard to come by when one is continually swamped in chaos

Of reckless dichotomy.

Sometimes I glimpse a hope of salvation.

Climbing onto the floating things

That others ride for a ruse of safety,

I sense what seems like fully escaping —

What feels like a watery grave.

And, sometimes, the very salvation I grasp for

Is the fragile raft that,

Mercifully,

Breaks apart;

Dumping me into safer waters where,

Alone & floundering,

I finally learn to swim strong

In the ecstasy of revelation

that

We are all meant to be creatures who are becoming

Glorious in both worlds.

 

Becoming,

CaveMomRising